Alessandra Solis is the author of an amazingly different weight-loss book, ‘EAT HOT…LOOK HOT’. She recently posed a question to her email list, “Should men tell their wives/girlfriends that they notice they are losing weight?”
What’s for dinner? Something hot I hope!
Some time ago she contacted me and asked what I would advise. To continue the story, I think I’ll just include her recent email here….
Alessandra wrote:
Do you remember that I left you with a cliff hanger last time?
To Tell or Not To Tell?
Should men tell their wives/girlfriends that they notice they are losing weight?
I consulted Dr Tannis Laidlaw, with a PhD in Psychiatry, and a fellow author who likes to weave psychological veritas into her novels, which are mostly psychological thrillers. Her latest release is Thursday’s Child, a psychological suspense mystery. And here’s her response:
“Generally, honesty is best in relationships with some notable exceptions.
For instance, should a philanderer confess? Often the impulse to come clean is there to assuage his own guilt, and the thinking is often along the lines of “It will clear the air – after all, the affair is now over and I’ve chosen her over the other woman. Besides, I will feel better and get rid of this awful guilt and we can get on with our lives.”
Um, no. That sort of thinking spreads the misery and can have countless consequences (which may be totally deserved…).
But men noticing a weight loss? That totally depends on the partner. If she is the sensitive type who can attribute negative motivations rather easily, then the man will have to be much more subtle. Like commenting how great his partner is looking when dressed up for a dinner out, or wearing a bathing suit for the first time that year … generally, this situation calls for being a bit creative and seizing the opportunity.
Telling her or implying she’s not so fat any more is all bad news.
Still, most women are pleased when their partner notices they are losing weight. But maybe receiving an admiring comment, like in the paragraph above, is the best, anyway. Bathed in the glow of a compliment from the person who matters most, she can have great fun in telling him the hows and the whys. Or not.”
I think you can look forward to these sorts of compliments after a month on The EAT HOT…LOOK HOT Diet! Let me know what others are saying and how they go about saying it.
Thank you, Dr. Laidlaw, for your expertise.
Have a great day!
What fun to be quoted like that!
And do I eat hot (let’s forget about the looking hot bit)? Yup, I do. Anyone for scrambled eggs with cumin? Or chicken salad with jalapeno?